


A love letter to John

by sherllycolmpels



Series: Letters to John [5]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Episode: s02e03 The Reichenbach Fall, Fluff, Letter, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, POV Sherlock Holmes, Post-Episode: s02e03 The Reichenbach Fall, Post-Reichenbach, Romance, Tears, angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-09
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-10-01 09:39:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10186541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherllycolmpels/pseuds/sherllycolmpels
Summary: The love letter Sherlock wanted to write to John before leaving him to dismantle Moriarty's network.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Marry's letter to John in series 4, episode 1 (as a mirror to the stuff Sherlock wanted to say, before he left John, but couldn't).

Dear John,

My darling, I know letting you know this through a letter is less than convenient, but I have no other choices. Writing you this puts us both in danger’s arm, so I might won’t be able to give you this letter before I’ll come back to you, if at all, as much as it hurts me to leave you unknowing that I’m alive and causing you more pain.

But John, I feel I must tell you this before I’m gone, even if you won’t read it before I come back, because you mustn’t hate me for going away from you. I need you to keep in mind that I’m not running away from you, I promise you that, but faking my own death was crucial for your safety and this is my highest priority. I couldn’t stay and let them take you away from me, my dearest, I didn’t want to make you see me dead, I promise you that. Moriarty left me no other choice, it was me or you, and I’d choose you over myself anytime in a heartbeat, even if it means I’d have to go through hell every day for the rest of my life, because life without you – my love, my John, my caring doctor, my conductor of light – is not life at all.

I’m so sorry I caused you sorrow and pain, I could feel it lying on the cold pavement and later from the dissection table.

John, leaving this letter means leaving you hope, and I know you my brave solider – Leaving you this letter means you’ll try to find me, and the option of you putting yourself in danger for me is more painful for me than having no other choice than leaving you unknowing for who knows how long. Therefore, I don’t think I’ll be able to give you this letter before I’m back to the safety of your arms. I need to move the target far, far away from you. To do so, I must dismantle Moriarty’s network before I’ll be able to come back to you. I swear I will.

I already miss you, my darling, and our parting is causing me more pain than words can explain.

It seems that I can’t get a hold on my emotions, my dearest. I’m so sorry for the soapy words and the words that are smeared from my tears. I guess this is sentiment talking, but how can’t it be sentiment when it’s about you? My everything, my John.

-Your Sherlock


End file.
